Footprints in My Lawn

​Carolyn and I, with cups of coffee in hand, walked the yard on a beautiful summer day. We both came to a bone jarring stop, each spilling our coffees, when we saw 132 distinctive brown spots in our lawn.  The dead spots were about a foot long and in a straight line except for where they circled a large oak tree in the middle of the yard. There could only be two reasons for the spots:  1) every dog in my neighborhood met in my yard, formed a straight line and then all at once relieved themselves.  Knowing the dogs in my neighborhood are not that well organized, I quickly tossed that theory.  So, answer 2) had to be that we had a ghost.  I came to that conclusion because each dead spot was identical and in the shape of either a right or left shoe (size 12). In addition they were perfectly spaced like they would be for an average height man taking a casual stroll through the grass.  
A certain class instructor, who is not a fan of lawns, came to mind that might be the culprit.  But he is alive and well and teaching in the immediate future so the ghost went unidentified.  Now I had a couple of options for unraveling the mystery: call in the Ghost Busters or a psychic who can talk to spirits.  Carolyn mumbled something under her breath about my sanity again.  So I decided to retrace the footprints to their origin; it was my gravel driveway which I had sprayed with an herbicide three days before.  Carolyn, with a huge smile on her face said, “I found the bug, I mean ghost. It’s you…..again.”  Another lesson learned about working with chemicals.  Next month:  “Baxter the Sneezing Squirrel” * * *